Welcome back Rhinestone Royalty!
Today I would like to share with you a Crown Rules story from a royal lady we will call the "Mother of Two, Guardian of Many."
Her thoughtful reflections on her experience of wearing the crown inspired us. She reminded us that "whatever you do, wearing the crown will amplify your actions." A great privilege and responsibility, and one that we should consider deeply, whether the crown we wear is physical or not...
Recently, I received a package in the mail which probably should have given me excitement but instead caused me some anxiety.
It was the crown.
Anxiety is all I feel lately: trying to balance out the day to day struggle of parenting two beautiful kids, maintaining a strong relationship with my spouse, and working through the hardships of being a strong leader in a field of work where my gender and culture are typically undermined.
Wearing a crown will mean more eyes on me at a time when I don't really want anyone to look at me. I don't feel strong. I feel unorganized, unable to manage or remember anything, and the financial situation is very tight! Here I am trying to figure out if I could pick up a second job on top of the very demanding one I already have. So wearing this crown while preoccupied with all these things was not exactly something I was ready for, but...
I opened the box and there it was.
It truly is a beautiful crown, but I wasn't sure if I was up to the challenge of simply wearing it for a week. This may have been easy for some but just thinking about adding on one more thing to my very poor juggling act was too overwhelming. I mean, I barely have time to shower for 5 minutes sometimes.
My oldest (age 2), took a look and smiled, "Queen!" and started to giggle.
There to join him was my youngest (10 months) with his own laugh which moves his whole body around. Despite how challenging it is to raise my kids, I really do think I am learning more from them than they could from me. We shared and tried on the crown and took pictures. It was a nice moment to have with my kids. I still wasn't sure how the public would take it but at least my family seemed to have a positive response. The heavy weight on my chest was slightly lighter and a bit easier to manage that day.
The next day was Monday, the beginning of the work week for our family and daycare for the kids. Daycare is not far from us so we normally go on a morning walk to get there. That day I wore my crown.
My crown is gold with red jewels. I wore a red dress to compliment it.
Due to the pandemic, entrance to daycare is slightly different. We have to wait in line to get a temperature check before being allowed to enter. As we waited in line, a couple of children pointed. None of the parents really acknowledged it but overall the kids said positive things. Once I entered daycare, one of the teachers asked if it was my birthday. When I said that it wasn't she wondered if there was a special occasion. I responded that there was no special occasion and that I was going to wear a crown all week. I could not see her smile because of the mask but I could see in her eyes that she was smiling
"I think that is fantastic! People should just wear crowns just because more often"
By the time I came in to work, I had a bit more confidence. I work in a field where I meet new people every day. It was approved for me to wear the crown around my coworkers, but to remove it whenever I had to present myself to new people. That was actually more fun than I thought it would be! Everything was given with a positive remark and it looks like some of my coworkers even want to purchase a couple of crowns for themselves.
Overall, I have to remember that people are not always criticizing you as harshly as you criticize yourself. I am probably a top offender when it comes to criticizing myself carrying all of this weight without sharing how I actually feel.
It has always been difficult for me to ask for help. I'm very much about doing things independently, that's just how I was raised to do things. Wearing the crown, I was worried that someone might think that I find myself to be better than everyone else when I don't think that at all.
Once I actually started wearing it, I realized that it didn't attract negativity and actually brought in more welcome from others.
Physically, a crown is actually really great to wear when you want to work on your posture because I did need to keep my head high and shoulders out to balance it. The way you position yourself can be so important when in the company of others and I did notice a bit of a change in the way I spoke when presenting with better posture.
However, there were times in the week that I wanted to keep my head down and the crown would not really allow for that. The first time this happened, I immediately took off the crown. It kept falling over and it was just reminding me that I wasn't able to keep my head high in this particular situation. However, a few days later, that feeling came again. I was overwhelmed and my head started to shift downwards and my back began to curl. I felt the crown and I brought myself back up. It wasn't easy, but the crown reminded me that I had been through this before and will be able to survive this too.
Towards the end of the week, wearing the crown felt natural and I would even forget to take it off when meeting new people at work. It was just something that became a part of me.
To me wearing a crown used to be something only for the "chosen" in the most traditional sense. Now that I have been wearing it for a week, I find that my definition has changed.
It is powerful to wear a crown because it naturally will give you the proper posture and the confidence to act that comes with it.
In whatever you do, wearing a crown will only amplify your actions.
I only hope that those actions are put forth to positivity.
The crown did not necessarily fix any of my problems, but it did remind me that I was the only one who could address those things. I'm still facing challenges every day. The pandemic is really difficult for so many of us in different ways. I was reminded this week that anyone can have a positive impact. I grew up with this traditional sense of royalty, and that is fine and all, but what about those that were not born with privilege? There are more of us out there and the crown I wore reminded me of the challenges I faced just to get to where I am today.
Finally, I will leave you with the wise and simple Crown Rules that she created for herself following this experience:
We are stronger than we think. Stand tall.
The good that we do is impactful, no matter how small.
Everyone has a battle. Be that support line.
Please share your thoughts and your Crown Rules in the comment box!